Switch
by Propheaker
Summary: [AU][NxI]Due to a sudden accident, Naruto's mentality had been transfered to Ino's physical body and vice versa. Confused on what would they do, they've seek the help of Tsuande. But instead, she ordered them to live together and keep the problem secret
1. Prolouge

--Switch--

Prologue – Harmonizing with the dead last.

The glorious village of Konohagakure. It was said to be the most dominant of all hidden villages.

For one thing, it is the most influential village where most of the worlds' greatest ninjas were born. Take for example the great Yondaime, the legendary yellow flash, the hero of all citizens residing in fire country. He was the one who 'defeated' the all so powerful Kyuubi no Kitsune and invented several personal techniques back at his time. Some of these techniques were called Rasengan and the infamous Hiraishin no jutsu. The guy created heaps of ass-kicking techniques but we'll leave that to another story.

So, by now, you must be thinking that inhabitants of Konoha are reasonable and understanding citizens, right? right!? I mean, having such dependable leader must've made them thoughtful and considerate, even if the worst circumstances transpired ne!?

Oh who am I kidding…

Anyway! Like I said, most sensible ninjas are born in this village. Each child that lives within this village usually undergoes a rigorous training at young age to become a highly proficient shinobi that will soon become the top assassins and mercenaries of Konoha. Each of them were trained to be calm and silen—

"SHANNNNDAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Ehhh, they fight fair and reasona—

"O'YE!! THAT'S CHEATING!! YOU SHOULDN'T USE RASENGAN IN A SPARRING IDIOT!!"

Ehem! They respect the weakness of others and had a good sense of chivalr—

"Pfft! You're just weak Ino! You can't even put up a fight against my kage bunshins!"

ARGH!! I give up! To hell with their good traits! Admit it my fellow readers, most shinobi in Konoha are eccentric! They're loud, lazy, gluttonous, self centered, peeping toms, obsessed with perverted novels and some even had a chronic case of brooding syndrome! Hell, even their leader is a proficient drunkard and a bad gambler I might add.

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Half of the shinobi population in Konoha sneezed simultaneously.

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

But hey! even if they're loud, lazy, gluttonous, self centered, peeping toms, obsessed with perverted novels and had a chronic case of brooding syndrome etc… we still like them right? right!?

And so, this is where it leads us on the situation earlier…

Team ten and what's left of team seven are currently having an early sparring session against each other. Sakura and Chouji are watching the fight between the most loudest blond shinobi in town (He won that title, hands down) against the most talkative blond kunoichi in the rookie nine. Unfortunately, Shikamaru is currently away on some 'business ordeals' together with the invigorating sand nin, Temari so he can't join the sparring.

"O'YE!! THAT'S CHEATING!! YOU SHOULDN'T USE RASENGAN IN A SPARRING IDIOT!!" Shouted by a fuming kunoichi after she managed to barely dodged the swirling mass of chakra.

"Pfft! You're just weak Ino! You can't even put up a fight against my kage bunshins!" Retorted by Naruto, folding his arms.

Something snapped somewhere in Ino's forehead. It made no sound but, oh my, that definitely doesn't sound good…

"And your punch is just pathetic!" Naruto added, walking towards the blond girl. Ino who was on the verge of strangling him to death, clutched her fist tightly.

"THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!" The blond kuniochi snapped, forming a complex hand seals in matter of seconds. "SHINTENSHIN NO JUTSU!!"

A flash of light soared towards the surprised orange-clad genin. He can easily avoid the attack but due to their extreme proximity, he cannot evade direct contact which causes the both of them to fell unconsciously onto the ground.

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Naruto had woken up in a white room. He tried to open his eyes but the brightness of the area abruptly blinded him.

"Ugh." Naruto tried to open an eye once again. "So damn bright, w-where the hell am I anyway?" He cursed before using his hand to cover his soggy eyes. He swung his legs around and tried to stand up. He looked around to familiarize himself to the surroundings. It was a white room that had a lot of white things around. '_I'm probably at the hospital…'_ Naruto concluded. He was about to sat on his bed when a familiar body that is sleeping on the other side of the room caught his attention. '_W-What?_' Slowly walking towards the other patient, his eyes widened on what he'd perceived.

"W-W-WH-WH-WHAT THE GOD FORSAKING HELL!?!?!?!?!?" Naruto frantically swore, recoiling backwards and falling butt first into the floor.

"I'M FUCKING DEAD!!!!!!!" He yelled while bursting into a hysterical tantrum.

The apprehensive genin stared on the sleeping body once again to check if it's real and not a hallucination. '_T-This is a dream!_' He anxiously rubbed his eyes, hoping that it would disappear but to his complete demise, it neither vanished nor disappeared…

The sleeping body was the exact replica of his body.

"N-No way…." Said by a troubled blonde. He comically cried like a river as he mourned on his seemingly 'dead' body. "WUHAAAAAAA!!! I'm dead! Now I can't, (Sniff) date Sakura anymore…I didn't even, (Sniff) got the chance to eat my, (Sniff) favorite super ultra mega deluxe pork, (Sniff) ramen before I died!! GODDAMMIT! Life is so unfair!!" He continued to sob while the 'Hokages' funeral' theme song played along the background.

His hysterical outburst was halted when something suddenly covered his right vision. "A hair?" He tried to touch the silky locks. "W-Wait, did I really grow my hair this long?" Naruto suffered a sudden twinge of pain in his scalp when he pulled the hair. '_Damn! It hurts!'_

"W-Wait, h-how come—" Naruto skeptically muttered. He stroked his skin. '_It's smooth…'_ He worryingly thought while a cold sweat surged from his neck.

'_Oh_ _this is bad, my skin is uneven and rough due to my extensive training…'_

The fretful genin tried to feel another part of his body…in the lower part to be precise.

'_Oh shit!! Oh shit!! Oh shit!! This is definitely not my ass…'_

He worryingly stated after he fondled the soft cheeks of his rear. He then aimed for the kill as he moved his hands planning to touch his chest.

A stream of blood suddenly gushed out of his nose.

"M-My god…" Naruto dumbfoundedly muttered while touching the lumps on his chest. He then stared at a nearby mirror. His confused expression suddenly turned into disgust. "WH-WHAT THE HELL!! I'M IN INO'S BODY!?!?"

After a moment of bewilderment, the blonde huskily gulped as he looked down to his chest. "In fairness, she had a nice cleavage…"

However, because of his earsplitting outburst, the sleeping patient in the other side of the room groggily opened her eyes and gradually stared at the standing guy (in a girl's body) beside her. Naruto caught her staring at him so he looked down to the lying person.

'_Damn…_' He thought to himself while their gaze interlocked.

Ino was about to make a comment when something VERY VERY disturbing caught her attention. She looked down then blinked when she noticed that Naruto was still squishing the cleavage of his temporary body.

Squish…

Blink…

Squish Squish…

Blink Blink…

Squish Squish Squish…

Blink Blink B—

A vein snapped.

"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BODY DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ino deafeningly shouted as she threw a thunderous sucker punch towards the guy who's unintentionally molesting her body. Naruto rapidly soared across the other side of the room and smacked the wall with an unimaginable force.

"OKAY BUSTER!! YOU ONLY HAVE THREE SECONDS TO WRITE YOUR DEATH WISH BEFORE I SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO KINGDOM COME!!" Ino threatened with eyes that can make Lucifer pee in his pants. She angrily stomped towards Naruto and grabbed him by his neck. "Drop the henge first before I kill you!!"

"W-Wait, I don't know what you're saying but you're the one who's using my body!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, I do—" Ino then halted when she noticed the tone of her voice. "W-What happen to my beautiful angelic voice!? This voice sounds like a cheap pathetic rip-off from Looney tunes!"

"My voice didn't sound that bad you know…" Said by a sobbing genin along the corner of the room with dim-lights effects above his head. "Judging by your twisted attitude, you're probably Ino aren't you?"

She blankly stared at the boy. "Well Duh! Can't you see my gorgeous frontage?" Ino purred in a seductive voice while posing in a seducing posture that can make all the male species drop-dead...if she was on a female body.

But when she's in Naruto's body,

Its just plain wrong…

"Try holding your chest." Naruto dryly suggested.

"Are you some kind of a depraved masochist?"

"DAMMIT!! JUST DO IT!"

"Okay okay, sheesh! You don't have to sh—" Ino stiffened. _Flat chest…_ "N-No way…"

"So, now you see that—"

"AHHHHH! I'M UGLY!! I BECOME LIKE THAT FLAT CHESTED FOREHEAD FREAK SAKURA!!"

Naruto dropped instantly into the ground…anime style!

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Tsunade agreed to teach Sakura the most ultimate medical jutsu but under one condition. The pink haired chuunin must remain still for about 24 hours straight. She remained motionless for about 23 hours 59 minutes and 56 seconds in counting.

'_Y-Yes, I will finally learn the ultimate medical jutsu in less than…5…4...3...2_—'

She suddenly sneezed.

"You fail."

"Ehhhhh!?!?!?"

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

"H-H-H-How!?" Ino's jaw dropped. "How did this happen?" She was looking at the mirror with Naruto's features reflecting through the mirror.

Naruto sighed. "I-I don't know either…"

They remained silent for quite awhile. Neither was speaking nor stirring up a conversation. It was so surreal, as both of them stare at their own respective original bodies.

"Great… now I'm stuck in the body of the dead-last…" Ino muttered with a grunt. "Can life get any worse?"

"Apparently it did…"

"Huh?"

Naruto rubbed the back of his head with a sheepish grin pasted on his face. "U-Um, Ino, I think I need to pee…"

**--Prologue: Terminated-- **

A/N: So, what do you think? If you have any ideas, suggestions of questions don't hesitate to ask. For any readers of my

Forgotten Origin fic, don't worry, I didn't given up on that, I just need to get this idea out of my system to cure my writers block on that story…


	2. Watery Business

--Switch--

Phase II: Watery crisis

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Naruto frowned, carefully rubbing off the aching lump on the back of his head that he got earlier on his little '_tour'_ along the hospital's restroom. He perked a sidelong glance at the infuriated kunoichi, at least an arm's length of distance between them.

'_Damned bitch…_' Half-heartedly cursed by the orange-clad as he subtly watched Ino's face formed various infuriated faces.

Naruto sighed…deeply.

He really didn't do it on purposed— seeing her panties and her umm/_cough_/ I mean….

It was purely unintentional!

The poor blond was on the verge of '_giving tributes to the porcelain god_' for goodness sake! so its only natural for the guy to rush down to the nearest bathroom right? right!?

Riiiiiight….

However, when you're a guy, who's unfortunately (or is it fortunately?) trapped in a girl's body and entered the men's restroom in your impermanent feminine body with dozens of hormonally untamed males using the lavatory … you're just asking for one thing,

Trouble!

And when I say trouble, I mean, really BIG trouble (with a whopping, standing tall, capital **T**!!)

It really sucks to be the genuie pig of the gods isn't it?

And unfortunately for our favorite blond head, he experienced it first hand…

Ahem! Back to our story… not so long ago, Naruto was running towards the toilet, clutching his not so seemingly crotch in a hysterical fits of agony and accidentally entered the men's restroom.

Bad idea…

Concentrated on doing his personal watery business, Naruto didn't noticed that all of the eyes on the room practically popped out of their respective sockets (not to mention that every hormonal gauge of all male species within that room rose up a notch)

It would be an understatement to say that the guys that are currently using the toilet were awestruck (and would definitely need a jaw surgery) when a blond goddess entered the premises.

W-Wait, blond goddess? That would be a first…

Naruto, who's trapped in Ino's body, ran into one of those wall-hanging urinals that are only exclusive for males and well— tried to put his '_tools of reproduction_' in one of those urinating contraption…well, almost.

The blond genin tried to find a zipper but to his utmost dismal (and absolute embarrassment,) there was no zigzagging contrivance in his jeans.

Widening his eyes on pure disbelief, cold sweat past down on his neck as if Orochimaru licked it with his snake-like tongue.

And that's a pretty disturbing sensation isn't it? Heck, only looking to Orochimaru makes you shiver much more be licked by him. It feels as though a preordained doom is about to happen to you and you didn't have a goddamn choice but to face it.

"Oh shit! I forgot that I'm in Ino's body…" Naruto cursed under his breath, slapping his forehead.

Little that he'd known, Ino was in hot pursuit from behind. When she heard his proclamation of '_PEEndependence_' her heartbeat skip a beat and before she ever noticed it, Ino was already standing at the doorsteps of men's restroom.

The female blond tried to clutch the doorknob but her inner femininity keeps reminding herself that the males' lavatory is a no mans' zone when it comes to the descendants of Eve.

However, Ino concluded that if her unstained body is on the line,

Her femininity can practically rot in hell…

And hell would definitely show its scorching fury on the unlucky person whose dumb enough to mess with her precious body.

And besides, Ino is supposedly a male now because she is trapped in Naruto's body so its only okay for her to enter such bland room right?

Still, she would definitely remember such vulgar act for the rest of her eccentric life.

Grabbing the doorknob once again, Ino straightened up her resolve and with a gulp, she opened the impenetrable door that binds the ungodly realm of manliness.

"I feel so violated…" Ino silently muttered after she took a first step into the infamous domain of masculinity. The room was far more cluttered than the '_females side of the paradise_' Ino observed with her analytical eye.

Ino scanned the area like a famished hyena in search of the guy who snatched her body. Her eyes landed on a blond figure and both her brows twitched dangerously when she noticed that Naruto is about to do the unthinkable.

"B-BAAAKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ino screamed deafeningly, sprinting towards Naruto in a slow-motion pace. She delivered a thunderous punch on the apex of his head and with a thump, the orange-clad ninja was about to fell on the floor but the fuming kunoichi instantly grabbed him by his neck and pummeled him into the wall.

"What the FUCKING hell are you doing?" She demanded with an eerily calm voice while her lips was formed into a sadistic grin that can single handedly put the infamous Kyuubi no Youko's trademark grin into shame.

"Me! uhh—I mean, I-Ino! w-what a sup-surprise!" Naruto stammered, avoiding an eye contact.

"D-Did you also come here to p-pee?" He inquired lamely.

A vein on her forehead snapped.

Oh my…

She heaved her fist tightly while gritting her teeth. "You…" She eerily started. "DISGRACEFUL PEVERTED IDIOT!!! HOW DARE YOU LAY A FINGER ON MY UNTAINTED BODY YOU ASS!!" She cursedly shouted, choking the living hell out of the poor genin.

Ino pulled him back to the room while clutching the rear of his t-shirts neckline, not even caring if the other patients eyed them skeptically.

"I-Ino, I've learned my—"

"Die!"

"Please—"

"Die!"

"Come'on Ino—"

"Die!"

She suddenly halted when they've reached the stairs. She looked down to her battered body (coz its her original body to begin with.) and her lips suddenly twist into a devious smirk.

"Oh n-no, not the stairs!" Naruto pleaded after he'd seen the thirteen ft. high staircase. "Anything but the stairs! That's cruel! Do you really want to torture me that much?"

Ino gave him a deadpanned 'I-don't-give-a-damn' glare.

"Come'on Ino, it's your body that you're messing with!" Naruto reasoned. "Do you really want to see your own body battered up and bruised? Its definitely gonna leave a mark when you drag me into the stairs…"

Silence was ensued for awhile while Ino digest the possibility of going back to a bruised body

(not to mention imperfect.) Her flawless physique is her prized possession after all so it's a 'no-no' if she got it bruised up just because of a silly orange-clad dead last.

After a moment of deliberating if he really deserved such forgiveness, Ino grabbed him by the waist and with a profound sigh, she gently placed his hand over her shoulders.

"Don't get any perverted ideas…" She muttered seriously. "I don't want to have blisters when I get back to my original body so be grateful that you're trapped in it, dead last…"

"Gee Ino, I didn't know you were this kind!" He commented with his trademark million-dollar grin after he turned his head to face her.

Real smooth Naruto, now you have a one-way ticket straight down to hell…

"I'll give you three seconds to shut the fuck up or you'll be buried six feet under." Her eyes sinisterly narrowed with a matching venomous expression.

"Yes ma'am…" Naruto replied like a five-year-old brat that is caught stealing a candy. "I'll shut up."

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

The bewitched duo had already returned to their respective quarters an hour ago. Unbelievably, the _lovebirds_ are acting like two civilized human beings. It seems they have come to a conclusion to call it a truce and talked about the do's and don't concerning the feminine lifestyle.

"So what are you gonna say when someone asked you to a date?"

"Piss off bastard, you're annoying m—"

WHAM!

"Dammit Naruto! for the last time, no vulgar replies!" Retorted by the female blonde, fist clenched tightly. "You're gonna ruin my reputation if you continue to act like a bastard that you truly are…"

"Reputation?" Naruto gave her one of his best mock-smirk. "Do you even have one?" He added sarcastically.

"Helllooo?" Ino exasperatingly replied with an eyebrow raised. Then right at that moment, the room began to fade into a pitch-dark illumination with only a single spotlight aimed at a blond girl, posing as if she was a preeminent fashion model.

"Behold! the most gorgeous and fairest nin-goddess in Konoha!" Declared seductively by the self proclaimed _Nin-Goddess,_ throwing a handful of confetti's into the air.

Naruto wore a deadpanned look on his face.

Silence.

Ino felt a little flustered with him staring at her. Her hands and legs are starting to get a little numb because she still hadn't stopped posing even after a minute had just passed.

"Well? Say something you jerk!"

If Ino was one her original body, that act would be quite splendid, but in Naruto's body?

We'd rather see Orochimaru join a swimsuit contest…

W-Wait, that would be too devastating (not to mention too hazardous,) forget what I said, I suggest that you won't even dare to imagine those kinds of things…

That would certainly shorten your lifespan by a quarter.

Ehem, Naruto, who finally awoken from his initial shock, look at her with arms on his mouth. "T-That was totally—" A lone snigger escaped from his mouth, and like a crack on a dam, his tiny fits of snigger suddenly exploded to a full-blown laughter. "Hahaha—Ino, t-that was totally—oh god, I cant stop! Hahahaha!" he then kneeled down (still laughing,) with his hands banging the floor continuously.

Ino sighed, putting a hand on her forehead. It was no use arguing with an idiot, he was just—

"Seriously Ino," Naruto stated, his mirth's of joy are starting to loose its intensity. "Confetti's? that was totally uncalled for!"

A vein popped in her forehead, but the yellow-haired kunoichi still held it in. Patience Ino, patience… she repeatedly muttered in her mind like a mantra that would repel her growing irritation.

"And the most beautiful Kunoichi? More like the bitchiest chick in town!"

Several nerves snapped whist her breathing exhilarates ominously. Patiencepatience… she still doing it, though in a faster pace unlike before.

"You? being a Nin Goddess? Hah! I'll find it more easy to believe that Itachi is really the tooth fairy than you being a Nin Goddess! "

Her teeth greeted and—is that a smoke coming out of Ino's ears?. PATIENCEPATIENCEPATIENCE!!!PATIEN—

"Sakura-chan's more suitable to become Konoha's goddess!"

Oh no, that certainly does it…

Readers, Naruto had just brought the apocalypse a century too early.

She can tolerate him mocking her hard work. She can tolerate his rude behavior. Heck, she can also tolerate him laughing at her (self proclaimed) titles, but there's one thing she couldn't tolerate…ever.

Be compared to her eternal rival…and lose.

Comparing Ino to Sakura was definitely the most stupidest thing Naruto had ever done to his life. It was an unwritten taboo just like the banning F word whenever Chouji's presence is near. The girl suddenly became silent—almost ominously silent. Naruto noticed this and shakes her shoulders.

"Ino? Hey Ino, are you alri…."

He never got the chance to finish his sentence when he caught a glimpse of her eyes. He shivered—a natural response as if you're anticipating a preordained calamity to come fort. Her eyes could equally marvel the eyes of Naruto in Kyuubi form.

Cold and dangerous.

"Uzumaki, Naruto…" Started eerily by a certain blonde in a glacial tone that can make Itachi whimper just by hearing it.

"C-Come on Ino, I-it was just a joke. I really didn't mean to—" He stopped and noticed a noxious aura emits out of the girl's body.

"I'm not going out of this alive am I?"

—I—I—I—I—I—I—I—

Tsunade, the well respected Godaime was now walking along the hospital's corridor. She left her office when a medical nin informed her about a certain blonde's accepted in the I.C.U due to a failed body-exchange ninjutsu execution. Apparently, they both got no physical injuries but something along their mind-set bothered the medic in charge.

Sighing, Tsunade decided to visit the two in their quarters. But upon opening the door, the scene unfolding in front of her wasn't quite what she predicted.

Heck, it didn't even occur to her that _he_ would do such thing to _her_.

In front of her, lies a bruised _"Ino,"_ lying at the floor looking dead with _"Naruto"_ atop of her, grabbing her neckline while his fist, raised as if gesturing to punch.

"NARUTO!" Shouted by the highest ranking ninja in Konoha. "Have you lost your mind!? Why are you pounding Yamanaka-san senseless!?"

Almost immediately, the two stiffened. Slowly turning their heads to meet a fuming Kage then turning back to face each other.

"We're so not going out of this alive…"

To be continued…


End file.
